Baby #3 blanket

Kyler is very worried that this new baby is going to get his beloved blankie his aunt Lisa made for him when he was born.  To ease his fears I attempted a blanket for the baby (neutrals since we don't know boy or girl!) so he wouldn't have to worry!  Here is the result:

It is full of flaws but it is so warm and soft and comfy!  I did run the sewing machine needle through my finger one time (holy ouch!!!) but it turned out well enough that we can use it!  I'm hoping little baby loves it as much as Ky loves his!

Kyler

Sweet Kyler....

He is so fun and funny.  All just today...

He said he was in my tummy once.  He really liked it there.  But then he almost popped out and he was a boy!

And then he felt the baby moving in my tummy for the first time.  He looked at my belly button, stuck his finger in it and said, "The baby is almost popping out of there!"  He almost seemed alarmed and I think he thought the baby was going to pop right out of my belly button!  I reassured him it would be awhile!

And then he drew this picture for me.

He then told me that God and Jesus went there on the cross!  I asked him why and he said bad guys put him there.  We talked a little more about it.  I love how much knowledge he is gaining at such a young age!

Grace loses her first tooth!

Grace finally lost her first tooth!  After several weeks of having a super wiggly tooth and a new one growing in and already popping through her first tooth FINALLY came out!  We were getting her to wiggle it really hard and trying to talk her into pulling it.

Yesterday, Sunday, February 23, 2014, after church, we were all sitting on the couch watching some TV.  We were wiggling Grace's tooth and Dustin was teasing Grace about pulling it.  He started tickling her and wrestling with her and all of a sudden she yelled that her tooth fell out.  And sure enough, it did!  I think Dustin's arm may have hit her mouth a bit or something but it was out!

She was a little freaked out because of the blood so we got that stopped and then she was super excited!  She kept talking about it (and kept on) all night and was so excited the tooth fairy was going to come.  And sure enough, this morning when she woke up underneath her pillow where her tooth had been the tooth fairy had left her a note and a dollar!  The note explained that since it was her first tooth she got extra but she wouldn't be getting that much every time. :)  I think a quarter a tooth is a fair deal!

Grace was excited to get to school this morning so she could show her teacher and class that she finally lost her first tooth!  And she said something about a tooth chart that she gets to sign when you lose a tooth.  Lots of other kids have already been losing teeth so she was feeling a bit behind but now I'm sure she's a happy girl!  She's growing up so fast!

Down

Satan is on the prowl.  He is devouring us and loving it.  I feel his presence so strongly.  Maybe it's because I've been growing lately in my walk with God.  How he hates that.

My poor little girl is so sick and can't seem to get better.  I know in time health will return.  It exhausts me watching her in pain and not being able to do a thing to help.

Worry has invaded my life.  I do my best to pray through it but it is like an innate part of my being that can't be separated from my overall personality.

 My distrust of people is increasing.  I am tired of being hurt by people I trust.  I am tired of people taking every.single.thing I say personally or out of context and either whining about it or lashing out at me.

I am tired of people not honoring their word.  When someone says they will do something I foolishly expect them to do it and am always disappointed when they don't follow through.

Then I wonder, maybe it's not everyone else.  Maybe these are actually the qualities I am holding that I dislike and need to change about myself.

Satan is prowling.  Please know it's true and he's out to kill us.  I feel him and know he won't stop.  I need to do more to protect myself.  I think staying away from the most drama filled place I can think of is a great place for me to start, or at least limit my activity greatly.  And that place is Facebook.  I see more trouble with that place and it creates/fosters so many problems.  My activity there will be greatly decreased.  I'm hoping by not getting sucked in there and displaying my life for all to have free pot shots at will improve my mindset.

Blessings

In the midst of a few rough days for me personally I have seen two major blessings/bright things in just the last half hour.  Instead of complaining about the crap that has been invading my soul I want to document the good for me to cherish years down the line.

I put Kyler in his bed and covered him with his beloved blankie for nap time.  He is an amazing napper and usually goes right to sleep for me.  After about half an hour I went to peek in on him.  I caught him playing on his floor.  I laughed and asked why he wasn't sleeping.  He had a rubber bouncy ball in his hand at this point.  He looked at me and very seriously said that the bouncy ball woke him up.  :)  I know I should punish the lie but he was just too innocent and sweet.  Instead I scolded the bouncy ball for waking Kyler up and told Ky that I'm sure it wouldn't do it again.  I tucked him back in bed and told him I loved him.  His sweet little, "I love you too," came back to my ears.  I am so in love with this little boy!

And for the first time I saw my belly jumping around!  I will be 20 weeks in two days and am finally seeing this little being inside of me getting more active!  It's so fun to live these changes with the bittersweet knowledge that it's my last time.

Praying my placenta moves so I can stay healthy and an automatic c-section isn't necessary.  I'm thinking my next ultrasound will be in late April or early May to show what will happen since they said 28-30 weeks to check what's going on.  Either way, as scary as it is, I can rest assured that my baby is okay today!

17 weeks!

Today I am so very thankful.  Thankful that I still have a baby growing inside of me.  

Wednesday morning I was taking the trash out.  I had a bag in each hand and a box and went down the 7 wood steps to the front door like normal.  But then before I knew it I felt myself falling and the next thing I can remember is lying on my back in extreme pain.  I fell somehow (I think I caught a bag with my foot or something) and landed incredibly hard on my lower back, directly behind where the baby sits.

I just laid there for a minute or two, not quite knowing what to do.  I have fallen before in my other pregnancies but nothing quite this severe.  I was scared.  And in lots of pain.  But, seeing as the kitchen trash bag had ripped and I now had trash and mainly yogurt all over the place I had to do something.  Kyler saw it all happen and I told him to just stay back.  I was able to get the trash all picked up and out and the stairs and myself cleaned up.  I called and left a message for my doctor just to make sure I was watching for the right signs of miscarriage.

Thankfully, other than a severely sore back/hip, everything seems fine!  I didn't go in to have the baby checked as we figured if something happened, there's nothing they could do about it anyway.  Yesterday morning, about 24 hours after it happened, I most definitely felt this little baby moving around.  So very thankful!

What a reminder that nothing is guaranteed for me or this baby.  While this was a good outcome with God's hand of protection over us, I still may not have a perfectly healthy baby.  I've had two high risk pregnancies thus far and I'm just thankful that for right now I have this baby.  Whether we have complications or a perfectly normal, uncomplicated pregnancy/baby, God has entrusted me to care for this little being and I'm so thankful that He watched over us Wednesday.

#3 on the way

Today I am 16 weeks pregnant with our third (and for sure last!) baby!  I don't have any pictures or anything special to share but today I have been feeling this little being flutter around inside me like never before!

I have been feeling little kicks here and there for a couple weeks now but today there is just something different.  This little peanut is just dancing away and it's such an amazing feeling.  I've felt it hundreds of times before between the three children I have carried inside of me but I am cherishing these moments now especially as I know they will be the last ones I feel.

I am officially due on July 4, 2014 but am going to do things a little different this time around.  We found out with both Grace and Kyler the sex at our 20 week ultrasound but we are not going to find out this time around.  Also, we induced both of the first two (and for very good reasons both times and I will NEVER apologize for it) but am going to try to let this one come naturally.  Granted, things happen and life never goes as planned so I am open to whatever comes our way.

I am praying for a non-high risk pregnancy this time.  I haven't experienced that yet and I would love a calm, normal one without all the extra tests, monitors, checks, money, worry that comes with high risk pregnancies.

I have been so sick with this one and it's definitely been my hardest pregnancy to date but I am thankful that so far our baby is healthy, and me too!  It's going to be difficult to stay that way with the flu going around and people not being considerate enough to stay home when they are sick, but we are doing what we can!

But this feeling of this baby moving around inside of me--what peace it is starting to bring me!  You never know for sure if your baby is okay until you start to feel the constant kicks and movements.  This is such a fun time as none of them hurt yet as they are just little flutters but they are the definite movements of a baby.  I only have 24 more weeks left to experience pregnancy before this stage of my life is over.  Despite the pains, aches, and hardness pregnancy brings to me I am hoping to relish and cherish this time.